Yay Monday

Today wasn't too bad actually. I worked and then napped. I worked all weekend so I was pretty tired. I was supposed to have dinner at Verlina's house but that didn't work out so I ate dinner with Pete. I always love talking to Pete. He likes talking about Scripture and discussing. Tonight we talked about Revelations. It was fun.

I'm awaiting tonight the arrival of the last book in the series that I'm reading right now. It's a teen book called the Fall of Five. It's not a review book but it's one I picked up from the library. Those have been audiobooks, so I could probably finish it in a day. It's also the last book in the series so it won't leave me on end.

A lot of people have asked me if I am doing okay here. The answer is yes I am. I feel like this is where God wants me to be right now. Some of my friends have criticized some things here but that's okay. I don't think those things are wrong. We all have shortcomings. Even a ministry can have shortcomings.

I feel like God still has more things to show me about myself. I can't wait for the classes to start back up again.

Five Minute Friday - Last

I'm joining in on Lisa-Jo baker's Five Minute Friday The rules are pretty simple. One word. Five minutes of writing. No editing.

The Prompt this week is "Last"

GO!

Last time I told you I wouldn't go I told you I would stay I told you I would be here for you to wipe your tears away.

I told you my love for you would always last I felt your love and cares I didn't feel like I needed anyone else I didn't even feel any concern for world affairs.

But I was last in your mind I held out my hand but you slapped it away my love you wouldn't stand

STOP

Well I didn't get to finish this poem about Last but I hope you enjoy it.

One Thing Remains...and Southern Differences

"

" So today was a pretty good day. Actually I didn't do very much. I went to a wedding, a "virtual wedding." If Tim heard this then he would be saying "You kids and your technologies these days." I was really happy to attend the union, to see the wedding. It was very pretty. I actually knew the bride and groom. Gary worked phones at night so I would see him when I came to work in the morning. Karen is a sweet sweet lady. Such a good couple. I went to my friend's "house", or here in the community, their room and we hooked up to the HDMI

" I had to work phones tonight. On my way from doing phones...I ran into the youth group. They were going to hand out Bibles at the shelter. I asked why they returned so soon, with the Bibles in hand. They said the shelter said they preferred the group not give out the Bibles. I felt so bad for them after they wanted to evangelize and give back to the community. I got to talk to the lady, it bummed me out that they weren't able to witness.

" So I did some research. I remember in the South the shelters around there are mostly church run too. They get federal funding but are very upfront about having Christ in the center of their message. I know several homeless shelters where homeless people are "forced" to listen to the church messages before they get their dinner or go to bed. I know some of the homeless I've talked to said they hate that.

" The North, it is very different. Well I don't know many shelters around here except the one that is run by the community that I live in, but it seems totally different. I thought and thought and talked to someone about that and came to this conclusion.

" I think it is sadly about the difference between being in the "bible belt" (Florida, Alaabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina). It seems there the instutions, like homeless shelters and other aide organizations, are allowed to, for example, hand out a track or say Jesus loves you. But still if people don't want to hear the Gospel, they won't hear the Gospel, until God opens their hearts.

" It saddened my heart that the youth group didn't get to pass out Bibles. But then again, if the Bibles weren't going to get used, then maybe they would be used as scrap paper, and that would not be a good thing.

" Sorry to rant. The youtube video is a song I have in my Spirit tonight. Your love never fails never gives up never runs out on me.....so true....so true.

"

" Goodnight all

" Chrissy

My Review of the One Year Devo for Teen Girls

I just finished reading a complimentary book sent to me by Tyndale House in return for an honest review. The name of the book is The One Year Devos for Teen Girls. I found that these short devotionals were very intriguing. The authors tackled subjects that I know from when I was a teen (not too many years ago), that do come up in middle school as well as high school. (Even college)


Issues such as Should I eat meat? Bullying, discipleship, social media, future marriage and what it means when you actually say "I do", even pirating music and sex trafficking. These issues do come up as a teen. But I would encourage the mom and teen daughter to read this book together because of some of the tough subjects.


Some of the passages are really short and some are really long. This is what the typical devotion in this book is like....


Title

Scripture verse


The main devotional (2-4 paragraphs long) This is sometimes written from the author's own experience, a close friend or family member of the author, or sometimes from the lives of "famous" Christians such as Pastor Francis Chan, C.S. Lewis, and J.R.R. Tolkien.


Action step (I've never seen this in a devotional before. Usually I'm used to reading devotionals that include a simple prayer i.e Father please help me be more compassionate today, but these passages include an action step. Which I think is really awesome. When I was a teen, I was more of a person who would say let me do something about the issue and not stand back and do nothing.)


A few days actually included a HUGE Action Step.


Also for those days where you or your teen are dealing with a particular issue, there is an index in the back that tells you where to turn.


The devotionals are sometimes long. While, the long days have great information. It might be a bit too much for some teens. I know from experience if a page was too long or too lengthy in words, I would lose interest.


Overall, this is the best teen devotional I have ever read. I really appreciate the author's sincerity to tackle the tough issues in a teenager's life.

Five Minute Friday - Broken

This five minute friday is about the prompt - broken. Broken - Sometimes this is how I think the world views me. No one understands how I feel sometimes. The fact that I'm 27 almost 28 and still don't have a husband and a minivan. He is out there somewhere. I find myself praying for my future husband a lot. He will have to have a lot of patience. When I look back in my life, I'm not really sure if I'm ready for marriage. But God has laid on my heart, which is no where in Scripture, but His Spirit says to me that when the right man comes along, God will prepare me. I won't be broken. Only God can help me become unbroken. I know that there is some man out there waiting for me who will accept me as I am broken.... or unbroken..... or bandaged up. God is so good. I don't have to say anything yet He knows me and knows my broken state. He is the only one who can fill up this heart with His Spirit and fill me with knowledge of His word. When the right man comes along I know that Jesus will fill in the broken pieces and I will be brand new.

Five Minute Friday - Present

Here I am and it's Friday woo hoo! okay here I go on the topic Present

Go!

I have never felt like I need to totally let go and live in the present than right now. Lately the enemy has been trying to get at me over and over about my past and things that i know I can't change. The present is here. I know all my sins are wiped by His blood. My present is here in this community, with my heart open, loving the people that God has placed here with me. My present is sharing communion  with them, His body and blood. I know that I can't do anything to change the past or to make that better, but I can live and laugh and love and cry hug and be there for people when I need to be. Sara is having her surgery today and I can't help but be in this present with her because I know how it feels to have surgery like that. I also am in the present because the house fire happened a day before my birthday, just like her surgery is happening today on her birthday. I don't need to think about the fire I need to be here in the present for sara I know God is with her, but without our close christian friends, it's hard to get through the tough times. Let's continue our journey here in the present.

Stop

But please continue to pray for Sara. Happy Birthday girl!

Yesterday's Post - Better Days and Fruits of the Spirit

Today nothing out of the ordinary happened which was good....really good. My roommate got approved for her surgery. Please pray for her that she has peace before and throughout and after the whole surgery. She's such a blessing in my life.

Today at the front desk, was uneventful. The day really flew by. I had a nice lunch. I fixed a sandwich and ran to my room to hang out for a bit. I even did a little work on the transcription website. I remember I did that last year, I started in September and I made a few bucks. This week I've decided not to take any side jobs. Working from 8 to 5 plus more work is a lot. I did that all last week with my own cleaning team.

Bible study was really good. We talked about the fruits of the Spirit. I realized in my own life, that I have been judging things that weren't necessarily bad. We judge so many things that aren't that important. Like for example. Are you a republican or democrat, You can guarantee when you say that, the other person will be totally opposite. Why should Christians even care? I know who cares, our flesh cares. Satan cares...not God. Then afterwards I got to thinking about how we are constantly bombarded with things on Facebook and also on other social media websites. For a moment, I thought about deleting my Facebook. We also talked about how Christians can sometimes be the most judging and how Paul talked about the circumcised and UN circumcised. I could just see in my mind's eye the picture. A circusized jew saying na na boo boo i'm better than you. I'm this way and you're not. Then I thought of how this applies today and it applies because a lot of the times I want to judge people. Especially before I lived in community. I would think things about a person based on what I saw. Like for example, I always thought based off of 1 Corinthians 6:19 which says

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

What did I think before I came here? Ewww, how much of a christian can that person be, they have tattoos of  crosses and angels on their skin, but the Bible says that our body is a temple of His Spirit. It's the same thing as being circumcised or not circumcised. It doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter how rich or how poor I am. It doesn't matter that I like blue shoes and another person going to my church has white shoes. Come on church! We need to realize that once we stop focusing on these trivial things, then maybe we can advance His church.

Galatians 5:2-6

2 Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3 Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4 You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5 For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. 6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Bad Day for Me Today

Today was.....interesting. I was working the phones at the front desk. Since Jeannie is on vacation, I'm working her shift as well. So I work from 8 am to 5 pm. This morning I had a reporter call. No one was answering....he's demanding answers from someone he wants to speak with but that person isn't answering home phone, cell or work. Not much more I can do for him. So I have to deal with him all morning. I felt like he was a ping pong ball that just kept getting tossed back and forth. This afternoon, the reporter guy left me alone. But THIS TIME, a copier supplier calls a dozen times. He wants answers out of me that I can't give him. I ask him if it is a sales call, he says no but ma'am you're business needs to buy printing material. I told him like I was told to tell him that we do all of our printing in the house. He keeps on and on and on. I know from working in a call center that the employees get “incentives” for selling stuff. He would not let go of this one. Thankfully Dave, aka the funny man was standing there and he got on the line and mumbled up words and hung up on him. I was trying to be nice to him. I understand the job.

Then this homeless guy that I seee come by every day. He comes by and asks if we have any hotdogs. Usually after a Chicago Cubs game, we give out hotdogs and brautwursts to the people who come by our door. When the hotdogs are gone, we put up a sign that says NO HOTDOGS in big letters drawn on a paper in front of the window. So from the side window where you can talk to me before I buzz you in. Well, today the door was open. Usually this guy asks if there are any hotdogs (several times), then tries to get in. Usually he can't use I have to buzz him in. Today the door was open, because people were delivering can sodas to the vending machine. Well this guy comes in the front door, ugh, he comes up to me after I told him three times already that there are no hotdogs. I have explained to him (many times) that we only have hotdogs after Cubs home games. I said I'm sorry Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave. He says some mumbled up words and then after a few more times of me saying that he walks out the door.

So, then at 5 when it's time for me to get off, I wait and I wait and I wait and I wait. My replacement is supposed to be here by now. Then I wait and wait and call the team clean coordinators who don't answer their phones. I think to myself maybe they are getting dinner. So I wait but then the line gets down so low that there is no line. So I think, hmmmm, then a hospital calls wanting information about one of our seniors. I told them I would get their case workers on the line for more information. So I call and call and call some more.....But I can't get ahold of anyone. So finally I get ahold of someone after four phone calls. I get the case worker connected to the hospital. I'm so frustrated that my replacement hasn't arrived. I start crying. I hope I don't get in trouble but the whole day was just a mess. I work eight hours here and now I have to sit here when I'm not supposed to be here. It's not fair.

Well Gary bless his heart, he is one of the guys that does phones from 10:30 till 8 when I come in. He's so willing to do things for other people. He sees me crying and says he will take over.

So now I'm in my room blowing off the steam for the day on my new netbook. I can finally use it now because the charger arrived.

Today was about the worst day I've had since I've been here so far, even when I worked in the kitchen. I've never felt this bad. Anyways, from one of the discipleship classes I had. The class on the book called Community and Growth, Jean Vanier says that some days you won't even like community. Today is one of those days for me. Today I'm thankful that my roommate went to work for a little bit.

Prayer request – please pray that I would not be discouraged working the front desk. I'm supposed to be encouraging and today I feel like I wasn't. Please pray for Sara, she has to have surgery on her broke foot friday. They are going to put a pin in her foot. Doesn't that sound familiar to someone? Haha  

Busy Monday and Lazy Tuesday

I don't know why, but the start of Monday was really bad in the morning. I got enough sleep the night before but there were people who were coming to me and they were making outrageous demands in my opinion. If someone calls and they don't get you on a cell phone please leave a message. There was one person who called and asked to be transferred to a cell phone three times! All within five minutes! :( So I was feeling really mad. To top that off, the charger arrived for my Dell netbook and it didn't fit into the plug. ugh. I called the people who sent it but they were off that day (figures)

So I had made plans with Sara that morning that I was going to come to her job Leland (which is low income housing for formerly homeless people) and get her work computer working faster. I was going to CClean it and then defrag it. I was up in my room and I had just tried to plug in my charger. meh I was feeling like just forget it all. I will not go. Today is just a bad day. So then Sara called and I was like well I guess I will go. I was feeling a funk. Nothing was working out.

So the walk is about the same distance to the church group that we go to every other sunday. The White's house. Sara met me nearby and we walked. It was a long walk but a good one. The walk was so pretty. When we got there I got to meet a few people who live there. Half of all tech support is waiting. Waiting on the system to do what it is going to do. While I was waiting, Carol who is a sweet sweet lady, she always says hello to me in the morning at the front desk. She had just gotten a donation of clothing. So I got to look through and HURRAY THERE WAS MY SIZE. I got a few t-shirts, which is really good because I was going to go to the thrift store because monday is half price day. But thanks to Carol and Leland I didn't have to go to the thrift store. I got a few t-shirts which is what I was looking for. 

So we walked back home and that evening I did a side job for someone. Then I went and tried to help Verlina set up her printer. It didn't work. Well, I did go to a crappy tech school. Most people I can help. I helped Sara with her personal and work laptop. So I felt really good and blessed that I decided to go to help her. God really blessed me yesterday

Tuesday

It was really uneventful. I got off of front desk and went to my room. I played the star wars game for a bit, then all of a sudden I felt really sleepy. I had the air on really high. It's hardly ever on and I like it super cold in summer. But not my grandpa cold...that's too cold! But Sara prefers a fan or window open. That's okay we all have our 

I figured when Sara got in the room she would turn off the AC. We pretty much get along except for when it comes to the AC. I want more she wants less. So I turned on the AC to high. Then I snuggled warm under my comforter which I haven't used in a while and fell asleep. I fell asleep at 2. Then I woke up and saw Sara sitting on the sofa. I was like why is she here? What time is it? I ask.....she says it's 6:30......oh man I realized I missed my side job....crap! So, moral of today is not to take a nap when you have a side job that evening. I was sleeping soooooo good. Especially in the cold of the room. 

I go downstairs to see if there is anything I can do. Nope. all done. No money for tonight so that means only 20 versus 25 no big loss I don't think. I set an alarm for tomorrow. I will definitely be ready,

My plans for tonight fell through so I'm hanging out with the girls doing craft night and blogging. Later on I have to SWTOR tech support oh joy. I called earlier before my nap and they said it would be an hour wait. Oh joy. Hanging out with the girls is fun. I'm glad the other plan fell through. 

As for the side job, there's no use crying over spilled milk. Tomorrow is another day. 

An Unexpected change of events

Well, my plans changed again...This time in a good sorta way. My day yesterday was really good. Just so you know they went ahead and put Jude in the hospital for pain control. Please pray for him. Earlier in the week, I had signed up for wedding work. My job was going to be the flower party. I don't remember who told me, but for and Laura's wedding. I signed up for reception work. I did this only so that I could go to the reception. It really made me mad because the thing I had signed up for the last time, the other girl that was helping me decided to scratch my name out at the last minute (without letting me know) and signed up her boyfriend. So, I thought maybe God was trying to let me know that I didn't need to go to the reception. But usually the reception is the best part of the wedding.

Well this go round, I signed up for the flower party. I was thinking to myself hmm this is fun I can put flowers together and do something really useful for the bride and groom. We were going to meet right after dinner in the senior's dining room. When I get there, I see no flowers just another lady setting up the room. So I ask, where are the flowers? She then tells me that we are not the ones in the flower party, we are the ones helping to set up for the flower party. EERRRGGGHHHH!!!!  A friend of mine even told me to sign up for the flower party that I would have so much fun. UUUGGGHHHH!!!. So I helped set up tables and arrange the drinks and candy dishes along with the refreshment station with chips and dips. I did it with a good heart, but I was disappointed that I didn't get to put together corsages.

Well after the flower party, I go to the front desk. A lady is there and I overhear her saying that she needs someone to do her weekend work for phones. So, I'm thinking in my mind phones or wedding? Money or wedding? So here I am working the phones.  Next time I will go look at the wedding work wall and sign up for something fun. I wish I had a servant's heart.

Tonight I might go to the beach, I'm not sure yet...Here's for hoping.

Five Minute Friday - Rhythm

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on the word:::

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/06/five-minute-friday-rhythm/#sthash.7OYHWyw5.dpuf

GO

So the Summer comes, my first summer in Chicago. It totally messes up my rhythm. It's humid, hot and muggy just like a Georgia or North Carolina summer. It's not supposed to be this way. My discipleship classes are over so now I'm all out of tune. I have nothing to do in the afternoon, or do I? I saw Jude's mom sitting outside her room down the hall the other day. I decided to go to her and pray for her.

Jude is a sweet boy who has some bone ailment and the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him. He just had surgery to put a bone in place or something. He's in pain day or night. Sometimes if I stay up at night I can hear him from down the hallways and I wonder if that family is out of their normal rhythm. I want to do something besides pray but I don't know what to do.

This weekend is Tim's wedding. He's a cook I worked with for a little while when I first got here and worked in the kitchen. It's out of rhythm because everyone is scrambling around for the parties and the wedding ceremony. It's good to be out of rhythm sometimes. If life did have a constant beat with the constant thing day after day we would get bored.

STOP

Happy Father's Day to You Father

Well, sorry I haven't written that much. I haven't had that much going on lately. I broke my computer screen a few weeks ago. Thankfully a very good friend of mine helped me out with that. I've had a very busy week this past week. I attended three parties and am going to one tonight for the graduation of my fellow discipleship classmates.

School is out here and I love it. There are kids everywhere and it reminds me of my summers going to summer camp and swim lessons. I was never really into sports growing up but I sure did love the swimming lessons that we got to do Monday Wednesday and Friday. I was a late swimmer. I took lessons every summer and I forgot how old I was when I started swimming. I remember holding on to the edges of Grandpa and Grandma Faye's swimming pool. I remember my cousin Jackie coming over, Glenn and Kesha come over.... or was Kesha with Glenn at that time? I don't really remember. (Glenn is my brother) My step sister at the time Jamie (ugh I couldn't stand her) As soon as I could swim I remember it just clicked. I enjoyed my summers.

Hopefully the pool next door has new hours for the summer and since I don't have classes anymore, maybe I will be able to go. Summer is finally here in Chicago. I thought it would never come.

Today we stood up in church and along with recognizing the Project 12 graduates, we also recognized the fathers in the congregation. I tried to tell every father that I saw happy father's day. Today I realize maybe our Father in Heaven doesn't get the recognition He deserves. He did become and man and die on the cross for me and you (whoever reads this blog I hope someone does) If not, that still doesn't change the fact that Jesus died on the cross for you. Today I am just so happy and content with my life and the way things are going with me right now. God has lead me here for a reason. He is the best Father and I don't think that I would have come this far if it wasn't for Him and His grace.

Friday I wrote a poem for a test (I hope I don't fail it) in John's class on discipleship. When he gives the papers back, I will share it with you. I love the discipleship classes. Even though they end for the summer, I can't wait for next year to start.

Also today in church, we talked about Psalm 122. I was really convicted. Ever since I have been going to church since I was little. I always go about in a rushed panic trying to get ready for church. If I were for instance, going to the beach, I would wake up early and make sure that everything is ready to go. I wouldn't ever ever forget my sunblock, especially after seeing one of the moms on the fifth floor getting burnt to a crisp. I would make sure I had my swim stuff ready. Yet for church, I don't get that excited. I remember a youth pastor named Seth once said that we can hoop and holler at a football game, but we don't get that excited for God. So next Sunday I will try to be ready and prepared as if I were getting ready for a football game.

Well that is all I have for now. I will leave you with Psalm 122. Love you all
Chrissy

Psalm 122

A song of ascents. Of David.

1 I rejoiced with those who said to me,
    “Let us go to the house of the Lord.”
2 Our feet are standing
    in your gates, Jerusalem.

3 Jerusalem is built like a city
    that is closely compacted together.
4 That is where the tribes go up—
    the tribes of the Lord—
to praise the name of the Lord
    according to the statute given to Israel.
5 There stand the thrones for judgment,
    the thrones of the house of David.

6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
    “May those who love you be secure.
7 May there be peace within your walls
    and security within your citadels.”
8 For the sake of my family and friends,
    I will say, “Peace be within you.”
9 For the sake of the house of the Lord our God,
    I will seek your prosperity.

Gifts, My Busy Life and Serving Others

This week I believe God has shown me my gift to be used for His Kingdom. I thought that gifts were for those "special" people in the family of God. The ones that you see every Sunday who preach, sing, play musical instruments or even lead in Children's Church. I have learned that it takes all of us working together to be a family of God.

I remember a few weeks ago, in a class that Neil teaches called Community and Growth, we actually had a chapter in the book about spiritual gifts. After a month or so of being here, I thought well....God hasn't shown me my gift in the 10 or so years that I have been searching. well....He's probably not going to show it to me now. Then I went to this class and we were talking about how some gifts are just so simple. Such as the gift of serving. If it wasn't for people willing to do the mundane tasks in life, then the important people such as those who lead in church on Sunday couldn't do what they needed to do. We talked about several roles including the "grandparents" of the church who are the people who are willing to give advice because they have lived life and know how to navigate it. We talked about several other types of people that day.

Then we talked about one gift and I forget the exact name of this gift. But there is this really sweet guy here, who is  mentally delayed. He always stands out as the most cheerful and bright person in the room here. He's someone who, if you were sick, he would attempt to draw you a Get well soon card. (just like he did for my roommate this week) He is always willing to say hello and what's up when you see him. He's always happy and now that I think about it this gift is the gift of joy maybe? not quite sure. Anyways, if God can use this fellow, then I know that He can use me.

I've been praying and praying and praying and praying....etc about this.  This week someone said to me that I'm always willing to help out if I see people sad and I'm always willing to say hello. If I see one of our senior's here in the lobby and they seem to be sad, I try to go and talk to them when I'm not working to make sure that they are okay. I know that there is a time to be sad, but I don't like to see people sad. Anyways, I know now that I have the gift of encouragement.

Well, sorry I haven't been posting very much. I've been busy with work. class, magazine work, and homework, that I don't really have time to blog anymore. Well, if I cut out the time that I spend listening to audio books and reading books, then maybe I would have time to blog. haha. This week one of the ladies I know who's sister comes and visits a lot. The sister's friend gave away a lot of clothes she didn't want anymore. So, the sister gave the bag of shirts to me. Yay, more clothes which I always need ever since the fire. Before the fire, I had a pretty good amount of clothes. Since the fire, I've been building up. I kept a whole trash bag of new clothes. I'm so excited.

I went to a clothing bank that we have at one of the shelters we run called the Free Store. Where people can donate clothes and our clients (people in the shelters) can come by and get clothes. Sometimes people who live in the community can get permission to go up there and get some clothes. So I talked to the lady who runs it and she said that it would be fine for me to go to the free store because I needed to look for pants. Well i didn't find any pants, just one shirt. :(

As of this past Friday my roommate has been sick with food poison. I was kind of wary at first of helping her because I thought it might be the stomach bug and I didn't want to catch it. She was so miserable and I hated seeing her being so sick like that. I remember about a month before I came here, I got the stomach bug and it wasn't fun. She wasn't getting better after the first few days, so I went with her to the doctor, who is 2 blocks away at the nearest hospital (it's not a very good hospital). They said she had food poisoning and put her on antibiotics.

I thought she would get better but then for the next day she got worse. Then after that worse day, she felt a lot better. I would check on her almost every hour. I would also bring her things if she needed it. Water, ginger ale, bubbly water, anything. I'm so happy me and my roommate are close. I remember sometimes having roommates in the past that I wasn't so close to.

Well, to all you mothers out there I hope you have a happy mother's day.

The Clock Struck Twelve and Test Day and Fussy Babies

Morning at the desk was uneventful, except I got to hold the cutest baby in the world. The mom of the baby was putting stuff away in the car. She looks at me and says do you mind holding her while I put my luggage in the car. This baby is sooooo cute, but a few minutes after I held her and seeing her mama go in and out. She started crying.

Well after she left, I went to study my notes for the Ephesians test. I remember putting them in my bible and they just disappeared. Ugh, I need a organizer for my bible, haha. The teacher said that we could use a pink piece of paper to put any notes on and that piece could be used for the test, along with the Bible. So I got really frustrated. So I tried to put on a audio version of Ephesians while I was sitting at the front desk. It didn't work. When people read the Bible to be heard they need to liven up their voice and not be so monotone.

At lunch time, I went to a party for Zach and Sasha. They were supposed to leave today but they are staying until tomorrow. So we all got together and had a party It included everyone from the kitchen minus the head cooks. I only had 30 minutes from the time I got off to the time class started. So I had to hurry.

Class was really good. First class was on the History of Jesus People with John and second was the Ephesians test. I did really good considering I was only present for the last few weeks in class. I had to stay after class to finish up some homework from the first two weeks. The teacher said I did really good. I ended up leaving a little late. So I ate a late lunch and went upstairs and skipped dinner I was still full from the snacks and late lunch.

Later on tonight I went downstairs for the play. My family head signed me up to go with her tonight, which was really nice of her. So I went downstairs with a soda in my hand. haha, they said no food or drink allowed, so I had to gulp down a full soda before I could enter the room. The play was really funny. It was a who-done-it mystery. I know those teens and I didn't think they would be able to pull it off, but they did.

Well I'm done for the night.
Nothing else to write for now
Love you all
Goodnight blog land

Blogging for today

I promised when I came up here that I would blog every day and that has not happened. But in a way, it is a good thing. Between the wedding this past weekend, the Easter festival that we had, and other activities that are planned throughout the weeks, I've had a lot of things to do.

A good friend I made the first few weeks that I was here left on a trip. Now that friend and her 3 year old daughter have been back for a few weeks and I'm enjoying the time I have left with her until her wedding in July.

In other news, my phone is on the fritz. This reminds me of my first iPhone which was also on the fritz. It was so bad. I remember having to take my charger to work. Every time I wanted to make a call, I plugged it into the wall. It's fine, it won't be on for much longer. Then I am going on a technology fast. No technology for a few days. (except for when I help out at the front desk)

Classes in Project 12 (which is the discipleship training) are going really well. I have my first test tomorrow on Ephesians. On Fridays, we work on a magazine that we are going to hand out in the community. I've submitted two articles a poem, and short story. I'm not sharing them! You will have to get a magazine for yourself. Ha! We also finished up a class on discipleship and started a class on Christianity and the 21st Century. We are learning how to debate topics that cause a fuss in this time. Yesterday we discussed all the different things you have to think about when you discuss something with someone. You have to think about what they think of you and what they think of the issue and their view on Christianity......etc. I never realized all of that stuff.

Neil who is our teacher for community and growth is away for a few weeks. So we won't have his class for a few. I love that book. It's so interesting and so true. I want to at some point while I am here to make a trip to the community that  the author started.

I like working at the front desk. I actually feel very accomplished. Monday I put all the mail away before my shift ended. Usually that never happens. I'm learning the mail hehehe. Last thing I have to say is that tomorrow I will be sad. Some friends I met here the first few weeks I was here. They worked in the kitchen with me and I got to know them really well. They will be leaving here tomorrow. Well, I've seen people come here. Now it's time that I see them go. I went out with them Saturday night, our last time together.

I also came to the realization that God is calling me to open myself up more. I get so used to the same people day after day. Surely there are other people I can hang out with. The three people that I met the couple from the kitchen and my friend who is getting married in July, There are 400 people here. Usually I stick myself around the same people. Then I am reminded that Jesus didn't stick Himself around the same people. He hung out with everyone from the woman caught up in adultery to children to hypocritical pharisees.

Five Minute Friday - After

After....after what....I can't really think about an after in my life. I am writing this "after" the Braves game. Yay go Braves they beat the Chicago Cubs. I think about after and nothing comes to mind. After I'm done talking to Colleen, (a lady that lives in the community here) I will go to my room. After I go to my room, I will pray. It does seem like there is always an after in our lives. Now I come to realize that when we say something, we always say after. I will come see you after i will do this after I will say this after. Maybe we do need to stop thinking about the after and think about what we are doing now.

Five Minute Friday - Broken

1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt: “Broken” with no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

GO

I remember what it's like to be broken. I remember the point in my life when I thought that God was very far from me. Four years ago, I was in the hospital for emergency surgery. That afternoon, I was studying at school. The study hall for classes was on top of a dirt road type driveway that was very slanted and rocky. I remember tripping over a huge rock and not being able to get up. I called out for help and someone came to help me but still I felt very very broken. 

All I remember is pain for the next few days and I knew I was in the Lord's hands all along, but still the fact is that I was still very very afraid. I had never had surgery before and I was four hours from home. I felt very very broken and open and there was no one that I knew there except for a study hall person Mrs. Cheryl. She rode to the hospital with me. All I could think was Please don't leave me in this hospital alone. I was not her child I was not someone she cared more than a friend about. I felt very alone and very broken. I remember the pain as they moved me from place to place to place to place to place. I remember the meds they gave me. After that I remember nothing at all really. I went into surgery the next day. I remember even in my broken state that God does look after His Children I remember the church coming by and how there was always someone from church coming by to see me even when my family arrived to look after me. I would take that day back to have the strength and nerves in my legs again. But I know that God does take care of us and mend us when we think we are broken. I honestly to this day do not know why all that happened to me, but I do know that God holds the future. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU!!!!!

STOP

First Thursday

Well, I promised to keep up this blog and so far it's so hard to find time to keep up with it.

Today was my second first day working the front desk. It was pretty fun. I opened doors for people, sorted mail, and answered phones. I'm getting to know a lot of the seniors that live in our Friendly Towers.

This week was like I said it would be a crazy week. I got all my cooking done last night thank goodness. Tonight has mostly been a relaxing night. My roommate said last year at Fest for Us she was overwhelmed. I've not signed up for too many priorities.

I'm working the front desk tomorrow and then Sunday I will be participating in karaoke. I'm going to sing Lord You're Holy by Karen Wheaton, I practiced for my roommate tonight and she liked it.

Dinner tonight wasn't that great. Maybe it was because I wasn't in the kitchen....lol.....jk. Anyways, they cancelled women's bible study due to the festival. I'm excited to see what it's like.

My roommate and I have just been discussing schedule changes. It seems that now we both have to get up at about the same time. So we have to figure out the bathroom situation. We are going to test a plan tomorrow.

Well, I have to shower and hit the hay. I hope to get around to Five Minute Friday but if I don't then I'm sure you will understand.

I'm Slacking on my Blogging

I just realized that through a mist of this past week. I only blogged once this week and not in my journal blog but the Friday blog. I feel really bad and I will try to make up for it this next week.

A few highlights of the week, I messed up on bread dough one day and Tim saved it somehow even though we ended up having a lot less bread that night. I hung out with more people this week. I also got to know Zach and Sasha better. They are the couple that I have been working in the kitchen with. The health inspector dropped back in to check on us. We passed Woo hoo!  I hung out with another girl who will be gone for two weeks to visit her ex fiance (???) But the guy is the father of her child.  She's a good friend. She invited me up to a party in her room the night before she left.

I've had book night two nights in a row. We read a book called Coraline, which is actually a children's book that was made into a movie a few years ago which I have not yet seen. Weekends fly by so fast for me now. I didn't even get to do laundry, which I will have to do tomorrow. If I wait until another day I will have no more clothes to wear.

This coming week I'm afraid will be another mist. Fest for Us is coming which is Easter weekend. I have to prepare and bake. I also signed up to work the front desk Friday night. Fest for us is basically a huge party during Easter weekend since they used to have the Cornerstone Fest during the summer. Everyone has to pick a slot they want to work to help pick up the slack in the house, such as dishes or kitchen duty. I signed up for front desk. So during one of the Good Friday services, I will be manning the phones.

There's only one thing to say about this coming week, it will either be too long because of all the things we have to get prepared, or it will fly by so fast.

Everyone please pray for my roommate. Her name is Sara and she will be going into the hospital the week after Easter to have brain scans done for her epilepsy.

I'm so sleepy so I'm going to slip into my jammies and go to sleep now.

Five Minute Friday - Remember

This is where I write for five minutes flat on a topic that is given on a christian blog Five Minute Friday. This week's topic is Remember. So here I go

GO

I remember a lot of things that come to mind when I think of remembering. I remember Grandma Faye and how the family would always go swimming in her and Grandpa's pool. I remember how she took me to Birmingham when I was young for my first Tim McGraw concert with Uncle Ray and Jackie. I have known that she wasn't really my blood grandmother either only a step grandmother but how she always cared for all of her grandchildren. I vaguely remember going with her to show houses since she was a real estate agent. I loved going to her house every weekend and going to children's church. I always remember their house being at the center of everything. I would anxiously wait when my cousins would be coming over and ask When will Jackie or Jamie be here?

END

I will always remember Grandma Faye and even though she died of cancer when I was very young. 

Satuday and Sunday All in One Post

Saturday was a good day. I thought about the class on rest and also about the Five Minute Friday about rest. I took their advice, I think the Lord was trying to tell me something (hint, hint, nudge, nudge). So I did all my work on Saturday. I did all my laundry. Ugh, laundry was horrible. I had a load of clothes that were so stained up from working in the kitchen.

Laundry took almost all day, in between I went to the coffee shop to hang out. That is my new hang out spot. This sounds crazy but within the upbeat music, I do find a lot of peace there.

After laundry, I went to the family fondue party. Some of the ladies there said I should bring my Mary Kay Satin Hands. So we all had a fondue party/beauty party. It was fun. The fondue was pretty good too. Our hands ended up being silky smooth. We just spent time talking and getting to know each other.

I actually ended up going to sleep early.

Sunday was a good day too. I actually don't think I've had any bad days since I've been here. I went to church and sat by Sara and Cindy. They presented the last two stations of the cross. Jesus falling for the last time and Jesus' clothing is stripped. It was really meaningful and reflective. I didn't eat lunch that day because it did not look appetizing at all. While Sara and I were in the room, she asked if I liked to bake. I said yes but that I don't have much experience. She eneded up inviting me to a small group that her and another girl here Anastasia go to every other sunday.

I made sure that it was in walking distance. So we decided to make banana bread that is glueten free so that Sara could have some.

Baking the bread took all afternoon. Around 5, we got ready to go and walked there. It was a good 30 minute walk. I got to see a little of the city and go to a side of town that I had never been to.

The small group was nice. There were kids running around everywhere. We talked about church, politicians, missions, and homeless shelters. We also ate finger food and the banana bread without glueten was a big success.

The walk back home was a lot colder than I expected. I could see every breath that I made. My legs were freezing. My friend let me borrow her mittens, which helped a lot.

When we got home, me and Sara went to Annaliese's room/house and watched Where the Heart Is. Sara had to leave early, but me and Annaleise finished watching it and then we stayed up until 12 talking.

Overall, a really good relaxing weekend. Now I'm ready for the new week

Thursday Class Notes

John 20 Jesus calls the disciples now His brothers. We are being invited to a supernatural family. Mary is weeping. It was customary to go back to the tomb. She's coming to mourn her master. There's confusion because the stone has been rolled away. There are two guys in the tomb and that makes it less ordinary. The two men identify themselves as angels. Mary is trying to figure things out in her head. She thought maybe he was a gardener. Mary is in pain here. We know people in pain but if we let their pain speak to Jesus, we might hear Jesus response, because He is a God of suffering. C. S. Lewis says pain is a megaphone. If a person is lost we can imagine Jesus calling their name and pray for them and leave that person in God's hands. 

Jesus said to her,  “Don’t hold on to me, because I have not yet gone up to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am going back to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ” (John 20:17 NCV) 

What this verse means is that He wanted to let her know that He wasn't going to hang around. God is always calling us onward. We have mountaintop moments and we like Peter on the mount of transfiguration we want to build tents and stay with God but we must move on. Mary understood Jesus saying this. Jesus affirms her and tells her to go tell the disciples what is going on. 

After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. His followers were thrilled when they saw the Lord. Then Jesus said again,  “Peace be with you. As the Father sent me, I now send you.”    After he said this, he breathed on them and said,  “Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven. If you don’t forgive them, they are not forgiven.” (John 20:20-23 NCV)

Now this family extends to the disciples. Jesus appears and it shows that His body is not like the old body. That's why He says  peace be with you twice. Context is everything in these verses. We are not to speak forgiveness to people but to tell them about the forgiveness that is available to them. 

Friday is Here!

Friday was a pretty good day. The kitchen crew started the day with Our Daily Bread devotional. I don't really remember what it was about the only thing I remember is that it was very cheesy. Some of them stick with you for a long while and are very profound. Other's just go in one ear and go out the other. We were making burger bean bake for dinner that night with homemade dinner rolls (yay).  So me and Seda were the only ones in there somehow. So our job was to just prep the bread dough. So we made the bread dough and were done extremely early at 10:30.

At 10:30 I didn't have anything else to do so I went to my room. I actually got some transcription done for my little side job. I didn't realize that when I came into the community, I would have to give that up too. It's not for that much, it's through a site called www.mturk.com. Some of the jobs aren't worth paying anything for but the transcription jobs are the best paying ones on there. Before I came to this community, I did it to help me get a little extra Christmas money. I ended up making about $75.00 extra by working 3-4 hours in the evening. Friday I got about 2 hours on the site just working. But I had planned on getting some work in every day. It's okay, at least I know that I am always staying busy.

I didn't really eat lunch and when I came down for class. Today we were working on the magazine for P12. (Which is the name of the discipleship class) We all pitched in and gave a few ideas. I'm going to see if I can come up with any poetry. Some people are contributing paintings and articles.

After class, I went back into the kitchen. Thank goodness, there were more people in there helping out. We rolled up the dough and put it on the cookie sheets. That took longer than I thought. Tim the head cook was working on the burger bake I guess. I was in charge of keeping the timer for the rolls and taking them out and putting them into the holders. So i did that every 10 minutes, I would get the rolls put them in the warmer take the dough and put it in the oven.

This really made me think about how in life, we are bread in God's eyes. Think about this, He molds us into what we need to be. He puts the right amount of everything we need in our bodies. For example, our gifts and abilities, we may not know what they are, but God adds just a pinch of artistic creativity with a little pinch of something else for example leadership. Then throughout our lives, if we are believers, He molds us into what we are through Christ. When we are put into the oven of life, we are tested to see if we will remain confident in Christ through all the trials and tribulations in life. This is just a little thought I had while baking bread.

The burger bean bake was a little better than I expected it to be. It was burgers and beans put over rice. Sara's old roommate Becky came by and visited. She is the one I went to the coffee shop with on my first night here. She now lives outside of the community and has a full time job. She returns to visit a lot. I guess she really misses her friends.

The Irish concert in the evening was so amazing. I love that type of music even though I only hear it when St. Patrick's Day comes around. The band's name is The Crossing an article about the Crossing. I danced to a few songs and the flutes and the harps and the pipes were so amazing. I met my friend Molly there, who had worked in the kitchen with me for several days when I first arrived. She was only visiting during spring break if I remember correctly but had returned just for the concert. This concert was put on so that our girl scout troop can raise money to go on a mission trip.

I got up to my room very very tired. It was only 11 but it seemed like it was a lot later than that.

Five Minute Friday - Rest

http://bible.us/111/mat.11.28-30.niv

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.       Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.       For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Normally when I think about rest, I remember when the only day I got to rest was on Sunday. I worked at a call center for a mail order pharmacy. There were times in the busy season when I would work 10 hours a day sometimes five to six days a week. I was trying to get as much overtime as I could get. This didn't leave much time for God. I soon found out that my spiritual faith was weakening. I learned through a few mentors of mine, that it is necessary to take that rest, not only because we need to refresh and take time to rest in God, but also because God Himself also rested.

In God's perfect creation, before the fall of man, He himself took the seventh day to rest. God spoke through His Holy Spirit and told me that I need to rest in Him, even if that meant not being able to work overtime. I was going on and on without even stopping in my busy work day to take time for Him. We all need to remember to rest not just one day a week but rest in God every day of the week.

Onions So Good They Make You Wanna Cry

Today was an EXTREMELY busy day. The morning started out very well. We had our morning devotion, which was very good. Today we read from John 12 about Mary anointing Jesus with perfume. They told us we would be making soup and homemade bread and rolls. This sounded so simple when really it was not.

The day began by slicing twice as many vegetables for the soups. Then on top of this...the city health inspector came by for inspection. This made work twice as hard for us because we had to be without the head cook for a while doing what seemed to be double the work.

After the health inspector left, it was already 12 and I had just got done chopping onions. Woo, one thing about chopping onions is that they make you want to cry. The lady next to me was chopping cucumbers and she said that the onions were getting to her.

Class was really good today. I will post the notes a little later. The class was again John teaching from the book of John. The next class we really discussed ideas from a paper from a roman catholic organization. We determined that our views are very different from their views.

When I got back to the kitchen, it was good. The speed had slowed down a bit. I helped cut the bread and get the salad bar ready. Dinner was packed. I take it that soup night is a very popular night. One creative guy took the round loaves of bread that we received from the donation bin and made it into a bread bowl. I didn't really help with line pick up tonight.

Tonight was a ladies Bible study where we talked about James 1. I sat with Hannah and even my roommate Sara got to go, even though at first she thought she wouldn't be able to make it. It was a very insightful Bible study.

After the Bible study, Hannah and I made tea together. The coffee shop was closed so we had it in the dining room. Then we went to the living room on my floor.

Well I really need to get some sleep. I believe it's going to be a big day tomorrow with the concert. A group that plays music that sounds like they are from Ireland lol. I can't wait I think it will be so much fun.

Wonderful Wednesday....well not wonderful but not so bad either

Today was a good day. I went downstairs to work like usual. Usually I grab a quick bite of something and go into the senior's dining room for morning devotional. The senior's dining room is for the people that live in the 8th, 9th, and 10th floors of our low income based housing. When they are seated in the senior's dining room, they are served. I am told that it is served restaurant style where the "waiter" or "waitress" takes their order. After the seniors clear out, the kitchen crew and clean up crew go into the senior's dining hall and that is where we have our devotion time. Usually we read from 'My Utmost For His Highest'. After that we pray, and there we plan out what each person will be responsible for. We were told we were cooking Beef Stroganoff today. So we went into the kitchen.

On the way into the kitchen, one of the coordinators stopped me (a coordinator is a person that oversees scheduling and living arrangements, and this person also helps out when someone can't complete their job, also a person who arranges visits from people interested in this ministry and people who want to move in). Cindy asked me if I could help work the front desk and the phone since the lady that usually handles it is sick. I said sure and got right to work. I am a people person and love talking to people.I answered phones and put mail away all morning. I worked there from nine A.M until noon. At noon, the lady who was sick came and said she was feeling better and would be able to take over. So I went to my room and relaxed for a little while.

The afternoon was really strange and odd to me. At class time which is one, I went down to class only to find one person there along with the teacher. He said since no one showed up he would cancel class for the day. Second class at 2, same thing no one showed up except for me and that same guy. I don't know where everyone went, but it sure wasn't to class.

The afternoon in the kitchen was CRAZY. Tim the head cook said that they ran out of beef, so they had to cook ham for the stroganoff. Then it turned out we didn't have enough noodles, so we gave noodles for the Senior's dinner and cooked rice for us. We didn't have time to prepare a vegetarian dish. We barely got the food out on time, the greens had to cook a little longer.

I sat with my family for dinner. We talked about the pope and christian rock music. After dinner, my roommate and I went to the coffee shop for tea and to study for our bible study which is tomorrow night

Tuesday March 13th

Today was a good day. I pretty much did the salad bar again. I enjoy fixing up the salad bar. It's so nice to make it all look very pretty. For dinner we were going to have something called zippy beef. It's basically where you cook beef and noodles together and add sour cream.... so yeah.... didn't sound too good.

So, I chopped cucumbers, carrots, and cauliflower. It was my turn today with the radio. So I turned on Jesus Culture in the Pandora app. Pandora is a service on the iPhone where you can make your own personalized radio. I enjoy listening to music while I prepare and cook. It does make the time seem to go by faster. (speaking of that read below for what we talked about during class session today) While I was in the kitchen, one of the ladies comes up and just hands me ten dollars. I asked her if she wanted me to give this to someone because I haven't loaned out any money. That was the only way I could think that I would receive money for. I don't really have the cash to do that. But instead she smiled and said it's treat money. Treat money is apparently what people use when they have to go out and eat lunch or something. She said usually people spend it at McDonalds or the corner store. But I always eat what they have and if I don't eat what they have then I'm usually not that hungry. I am so happy that God gave me treat money, but I'm not going to spend this money on treats. I'm going to see if I can buy a notebook that way I can properly take notes in class instead of taking them on my iPhone and having to transfer them later.

God does know our needs, even when we don't think we know exactly how we are going to have that need met.

Today's class is about a book called Community and Growth by Jean Vanier. This lady who runs a commune similar to Jesus People but it is for mentally handicapped people and their nurses. I am just starting classes here so they are actually in the middle of the book right now. I hope to catch up later. Today we read about the different soils that people fall on and soil that chokes the life out of them. Neil (the teacher) said that living in a commune you have to have one key ingredient when working and that is love. You will always meet people here that get under your skin or that have differences that you don't particularly  like but you have to show them love and forgiveness. We also talked about making sure that you take time for yourself. 

The funny part in class was when Neil said the way he takes time for himself is a cup of coffee while in the  shower. We all laughed. He said that two things he enjoys is a nice cup of coffee and a shower so why not combine them together and get the day off to a good start. 

Class time was until 3 like usual. Afterwards I went back to the kitchen and I got to cook the vegetarian dinner which was tomatoes, onions and noodles sauted together. 

Later on in the evening, we had something called the community gathering. This is where we worship God and also tell everyone about various projects within the community. They mentioned that the protest was a success. Everyone sang happy birthday to a lady and then we talked about Easter weekend and all the festivities going on. It is going to be a big party with movies, karaoke, games, coffee samplings, big dinners and of course the Good Friday service and Easter Service. They have several churches come and help out with that.

They also talked about in May they will have a dedication for the building across the street. They are going to  have three pastors come and I guess help dedicate it. I'm not sure why it takes three pastors. LOL. 

I was going to hang out with Sasha after the meeting but she didn't feel good

Monday Class Notes

John 19:38-42 38 Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. 39 He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.[e] 40 Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41 At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42 Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

Joseph did this in secret. About 80 pounds of spices. This amount was reserved for someone who was a king. Joseph was a wealthy man and convinced Jesus is a King. Joseph doesn't show up in John until these verses. John is involved in putting out heretical fires in the church.  Why did John make sure to say that there is a new tomb. To say that it wasn't recycled. In Jewish culture, tombs were reused. They would reopen tombs and take out the bones and put another body in there.  There was a theory going around the swoon theory that Jesus really didn't die but fainted. John is trying to prove that Jesus rose from the dead. Another rumor is that when Mary goes to the tomb and there was no one in the tomb that she was at the wrong tomb. Their love for Him is still alive even though their King is "dead". The body would disintegrate within the tomb. A stone would be rolled in front of it. In the narrative we the reader are in on things that the people in the story aren't aware of. 

John 20 a woman finds the tomb. Mary Magdalene. Within the four gospels, we don't know the exact order of events. The guys that wrote these books weren't stupid. They left it the way they experience it or from interviews from people who experienced it. A number of Marys show up at the tomb. Mary Magdalene the woman with a bad reputation, Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary sister of Martha. Mary Magdalene is called the apostle to the apostles because she ran to tell the apostles what she had seen. 

They are in despair because they see that the body is missing. They are possibly thinking the romans took the body or grave robbers. 

John when he sees the tomb is now seeing and believing the identity of Jesus. He believes in the resurrection of Jesus. When Jesus raised Lazarus, this should have been a clue. Easter is the moment of the new creation. It is finished. Dark is gone and the sun is shining.